10:45 a.m.: Cosby emerges, wearing a grey sweatshirt and puffy coat. Whoever set up this sound system didn't take into account all of the planes landing at Reagan nearby, so if you're not in the first three rows, you probably can't hear a word he's saying. But Cosby begins by talking about how Ben's Chili Bowl relates to his mortality: "I am going to have my 77th birthday in July. I am facing the fact that I can go anytime I am called." Kind of grim! Where's he going with this?
Bill Cosby at Ben's Chili Bowl in Arlington
Turns out, according to Cosby, the new Ben's location is for him. He served in the military, and gestures in the direction of Arlington National Cemetery. "I want my body buried not far, so my ghost can get up, make the trip here instead of flying all the way over to U Street." He plans on hanging out at the Arlington Ben's with his ghost pals: "I will be eating with them, and we will be having a good time. Because in that cemetery that’s no cholesterol, there’s no triglycerides. Eat as many as you like. Double down on the cheese and the fries. A lot of people may not go to heaven, because this is heaven."
10:50 a.m.: Arlington Board Chair Jay Fisette presents both Virginia Ali and Bill Cosby with keys to the city of Arlington. "You can use this dead or alive," he says to Cosby, who pledges to use it to get out of parking tickets.
10:53 a.m.: The ambassador from Trinidad and Tobago is up next. "We're starting to shiver, ladies and gentlemen," he says. Cosby agrees. "How many more speakers do they have?" he says, slightly exasperated.
10:56 a.m.: "I am the historian of Ben's Chili Bowl, and today is a day of history," says Bernard Demczuk. He begins a long-winded story about the history of Arlington, before noticing that Cosby has begun to get annoyed.